09
Nov
09

Taking The SAT Unprepared

… really isn’t that hard or as stupid as some might make it out to be.

I was told it would be hard, the time limits were hard to stick to, and that I should go for classes and do as many papers and learn all the words in the vocabulary. I didn’t do shit. Seriously, all I did was go through a book the night before, just to get some tips on taking the exam. The morning of the SAT’s I just skimmed through some words in the vocabulary, but I didn’t try a single test paper, save for a few math sections. And I felt like I was going to die, I thought my heart or brain would give up on me at some point not being able to cope.

But I’m alive!

First of all, the exam room is NOT as cold as people might tell you it is. I swear, I took a sweater there and I didn’t even put it on. I actually ended up taking off my t shirt cause I felt warm (I was wearing two layers :p). Second, as for time limits, all I can say is PACE YOURSELF! I had no practice but I managed to do this almost perfectly. I had just enough time to finish answering all questions. Whenever the proctor went “5 minutes left” I’d only have 2 or 3 more to finish, leaving me enough time to look through my answers and double-check. Third, remember that your test book is YOURS. Own it, write whatever you want on it, even if it’s the answers in huge lettering, and they can’t say anything about it. ;)

And whatever you do, don’t freak out before the paper. Just relax, it’s easy.

I’m not kidding :D

Not too sure how much I’ll get though, I have a feeling I’ll have to do it again.
But I don’t think I’ll change much in my approach, maybe do more SAT math sums, but that’s about it.
I think I did pretty well for someone unprepared.

If you’re taking the SAT’s soon, in December or whenever, try to keep this in mind and GOOD LUCK!

04
Nov
09

Fuck TNL

When a friend of mine shouted that out in the crowd at a concert the other day, not Onstage but that of a local metal band, the frontman was quick to respond, preventing the inevitable shitstorm of anti-TNL comments, stating everything they’d done for them and the rest of the Metal community. While he didn’t mention any specifics, I knew he was talking about TNL Onstage, a platform where local musicians come together and compete to win a cash prize and gain some exposure, and their local chart show which sometimes plays local Metal tracks.

But how much of this really applies anymore? When was the last time you heard a Metal song on TNL? On the local chart show, Spinning Unrest, or ANY of their shows for that matter. I haven’t heard one in years, I can’t even remember the last time. Is it because they suck? Is it because Sri Lankan Metal can’t compete with whatever bullshit’s being played on the radio? No.

In the past few years there has been a massive change in the quality of the music that’s been coming out of Sri Lankan artists, especially Metal. The bands are tighter, the compositions are better, and the recordings sound far clearer and much more professional. So where are they lacking? Are they lacking at all? No.

So why don’t they get airtime, why don’t they get interviews, is it because no one listens to their music? Before you answer yes and I burst out laughing, the answer is no. There are way more metalheads today than there has ever been. There’s a whole new generation that’s been coming for gigs, and starting their own bands. But what message is TNL sending to them? What message is Onstage sending them?

Come to Onstage, form your own band and compete for the grand prize! 1 million rupees worth of studio equipment, share the stage with an international metal act, be a part of future TNL events! La di fucking da. How many of these “winners” actually go on to put out an album? How many of these new bands actually stick together after falling short at the finals? How many of them are real musicians with an actual passion for making music, not making money or winning a competition?

I’ve seen bands that come onto the stage that are basically the same band as last year with a new vocalist or some line-up change and a new name. I don’t see a band that skipped school to practice at some dingy home studio. I don’t see a band that skipped lunch to save up money to pay for a gig. I don’t see a band that worked tirelessly to create a song that reflects who they are and the music they play. I see a bunch of pansies trying to get famous and make some money on the way. And that sickens me.

Look at the metal scene right now, who’s doing well for themselves? Who’s been working their asses off to put out an album and play ear-splitting gigs? If you’ve been to the gigs of the past two years, this answer will come to you easily. Besides the obvious, such as Stigmata, a band that has always worked hard to get to where they are, there’s bands like Funeral In Heaven, Fallen Grace, Merlock, and Karmic Sulphur, all of whom got to where they are not because of some stupid competition, but because of hard work and dedication. The latter of which a lot of acts at Onstage lack.

And why is that? Well it’s simple really, because that’s just what they are: Acts. That’s what Onstage is in its entirety, it’s an act. It’s not real, what they’re doing isn’t real. They don’t really give a damn about the local music scene, they don’t care about the bands that compete, heck, they don’t even care about their audience. All they care about, just like any other corporation, is money.

I haven’t been in the metal scene for a very long time, but I’ve spoken to the members of these bands and I know from the experiences they’ve related just how far they’ve come. I haven’t even been to most of the Onstage shows, save for this year’s and last year’s finals, but what went down this time doesn’t need me to have been at any of them. What happened on Saturday, the 31st of October, 2009, is something no metalhead who was there will ever forget.

Just like last year, TNL got down Chitral Somapala and his band Civilization One who were the main attraction both last time and this time as well. We waited until the very end of the show to see Chitty and C1 get on stage. We were excited, ready to let loose, and go crazy in the moshpit. But something was different this time around. There was a line.

They had created a line separating the crowd from the stage so that they could run a camera along a track to film the performance. This kept us about 10 feet away from the stage, where the front of the crowd usually rest their arms whilst headbanging, and use to hold themselves up as the rest push forward whilst moshing and headbanging as well. But this wasn’t possible this time, instead of the stage we had a line of security guards holding hands, creating a barrier between us and the band, a barrier that should not have existed, a barrier that served no real purpose, besides allowing the camera to pass through the track.

After a while the crowd got excited and started moshing, if you’re not familiar with the term it’s when members of the crowd create a “pit” where they run at each other, throwing each other around, with no intent to harm the other party, but just to loosen up and have a good time. This caused some at the front to be pushed forward, which distressed the security guards. Besides the appointed security, there were also a few TNL employees who were appointed as “bouncers” or crowd control or whatever, who were behind the security guards ordering them around. One of them in particular took it upon himself to confront members of the audience who tried to push through, and get to the stage. One of them went too far.

The track was taken off, as it seemed as though the barrier could easily break if the crowd tried hard enough to do so, and there was no more camera to worry about. So why was there still a line? Last year the crowd was right up against the stage, there were policemen instead of security guards who did an excellent job of controlling the crowd, and no one was hurt. Sadly, the same cannot be said this time around.

One particular member of the crowd couldn’t stand the barrier any longer and pushed forward in an attempt to break the barrier and get to the stage. The security guard retorted, not by pushing back, but by hitting him. We all know what happens when push comes to shove, and I know a lot of you will say, “well what do you expect them to do when you’ll act so violently, you’ll are a threat to the safety of the band…” la di fucking da.

First of all, shut the fuck up. A metalhead, a fan, would never be a threat to the band, and would never harm a member of a band playing on the stage. Second, they’d need to climb onto the stage in order to do that, which some people did last year, and none of them tried to hurt a member of the band, none of them were a “threat”.

So this metalhead fought back and things got ugly, more security guards got involved, including the TNL employees, and yet another metalhead came to his aid, taking on the five or six guards that were going at just one person. Though he gave a good fight the guards managed to overpower him and taken him down to the ground, which would have been enough “control”, and went on to punch him repetitively, in the face. Fortunately, there was no blood spilt that night, and no bones broken. But the image, the sight of a fellow metalhead being thrown to the ground and beaten by the guards that are supposed to ensure the safety of both the audience and the band, was more than just unpleasant.

Two of the TNL employees got a little too involved in this, and took it personally to find the “troublemakers”. One even went so far as to verbally assault them and give them the finger, in front of everyone who was there, and threaten him. I was right there when this happened, I was standing between the said employee and the “troublemaker”, and at that moment it wasn’t him who was getting the finger, it wasn’t him who was being threatened, it was me. It was every metalhead that was there that night to have a good time, it was all of us.

While TNL may claim to have the right to have done what they did, as their regulations states that they would not allow anyone to be a threat to the audience or the running of the concert, it doesn’t say they would resort to physically assaulting the said “threats” and verbally abuse them. IF we were such a threat, all they had to do was ask us to leave, and they had every right to do that, but they didn’t. There were only two “troublemakers”, as far as they were concerned, and it wouldn’t have been such a big deal at all to remove them from the venue, so why didn’t they do it? Why did they resort to violence, when their purpose was to prevent it? Was it not wrong, what they did? Wasn’t there a better way? Or do you have something clever to say to this too?

Well there’s just one thing I have to say to you, and to the guards, and the TNL employees, and TNL:

FUCK YOU.

04
Nov
09

Naught

I am like the moon
I only reflect the light
But I can never know
What it means to shine

I am but a reflection
In this mirror that lies not
But not an image of perfection
I am what I am not

I am like the sky
Given color by the sea
But I can never know
The depths that lie beneath

I am but a reflection
In this mirror that lies not
But not an image of perfection
I am, but I am not.

03
Nov
09

Walls

will crush you as they fall…

Yet another addition to the instrumental piano compositions, all three are basically progressions from the same tune, that won’t seem to leave. This one was recorded as it was composed, this is exactly how I started playing it and ended. I wanted to capture the actual process of the composition, so yeah, it’s not that great, but I’ll work on it. The next one will be much more intense, and follow this one up as a progression. So look out for that one (:

Oh and if you’re wondering why I strike the keys down so hard, there are two reasons: firstly, the keys are wonky and need extra pressure. Second, I was quite stressed, and that’s when I usually play the piano.

Update: here’s a remastered version, cleaner with a bit of reverb

01
Nov
09

if you don’t wanna mosh, get the fuck out of the pit, pussy.

The system does not control us
Rules do not define us
For we are metalheads
With fists full of steel!

29
Oct
09

How To Ruin A Song

Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak
And the animals I’ve trapped
Have all become my pets
And I’m living off of grass
And the drippings from my ceiling
It’s okay to eat fish
‘Cause they don’t have any feelings

Underneath the bridge – below the waist of a woman
The tarp has sprung a leak – broken condom
And the animals I’ve trapped – crazy fan girls
Have all become my petsgroupies
And I’m living off of grassweed
And the drippings from my ceiling – alcohol
It’s okay to eat fishpussy
‘Cause they don’t have any feelings.

Ta da!

Oh and here’s the song:

28
Oct
09

Sense Less

There is nothing to be seen
But the space in between
The dark and the light
Perception’s white lie

There is nothing to be heard
But the call of the herd
Like cattle in a field
Waiting to be freed

There is nothing to be felt
But the pain, I’ve knelt
Down on my knees
Pleading “please leave”

There is nothing to be smelt
But the stench of your health
As I await your death
Sunrise to sunset

There is nothing to taste
But the bitterness of defeat
As I cower away
As the cards are dealt

I look at my hand
I’m in it to lose
I lay down my cards
You make your move.

Cards by ~RedMistressX

27
Oct
09

Nicotine

…has been my savior for a while now, since the age of fourteen, to be more precise.

I was rather depressed back then, those were my emo days, coincidentally the same time I started writing lyrics and eventually poetry. It was around the same time that something happened in my life that changed me, something that reoccured enough to keep me down. So I’d light a cigarette and smoke till I couldn’t think anymore. I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone, but I find that when I smoke I don’t think much, my mind becomes blank, the slate is wiped clean. And so I smoked, and smoked, and smoked.

I didn’t stop until some time this year, when a random stranger convinced me to quit smoking, it was the sincerity in his words that got me. Why would someone who barely knows me, has nothing to do with me, want me to quit? But he convinced me, and so for 2 months I stayed off of cigarettes. The first three weeks were hell, particularly the third. I would start shivering when I got the urge, and try to sleep it off. My aunt pointed out to me that I curled up into the fetal position when I did this, apparently that meant something. After about 2 and a half months I couldn’t be bothered anymore. I didn’t feel the urge at all, but I felt like it wasn’t such a bad thing so I started again.

Nowadays I just smoke maybe 2 to 3 cigs a day, which actually isn’t too bad at all, considering the 5 to 8 I’d have before. But I’ve had a really bad cough since Thursday, and I think the cigs have a lot to do with it. So I’m going to ween off of them for a while, maybe even stop smoking entirely for a month or two. I’m not quitting, though, I don’t think I ever will. Because this my drug is my saviour.

"used and empty"
26
Oct
09

Quicksand

I’ve stepped into shit
And I’ve sunk knee-deep
I’m trying to struggle free
But I’m stuck in this pit

Of quicksand that pulls me
Slowly towards its center
Like an abyss that holds you dearer
Than the darkness that you lit

You set fire to your heart
It burned a glowing red
You tried to put it out with water
But now you’re soaking wet

And the cold does not comfort
Nor does it soothe the pain
It will only numb you
So you’ll never feel again

But do you really need that?
Do you need anything at all?
No, I know you don’t
You just want and want and want.

Quicksand by =F4lc0N-6

Quicksand by =F4lc0N-6

24
Oct
09

Crappy mood? Click here

It’s peanut butter jelly time!
Peanut butter jelly time!
Peanut butter jelly time!

Where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?

Now there he go
There he go
There he go
There he go

Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!

Do the peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!

Do the peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!

You’re welcome :P




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The Abyss of St. Fallen

St. Fallen is an 18 year old male humanoid, no more or less human than anyone else. The blog is simply a gallery into his thoughts and actions, and anyone is welcome to voice their opinion. Freedom of expression is mandatory.

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