Chapter One – The Early Years

February 7th 1991

Baby Naoshaad was born weighing 3.5kg and 22 inches tall. Three days later he was named Mohammed Naoshaad Imaad Majeed. He was the 3rd child and 2nd son.

He lived his first eight years at No. 28, Charles Place, Dehiwela. He was fond of his neighbours & his younger brother. When he was 2 he was enrolled into Florida International Montessori. He used to get into trouble for fighting with a big fat kid & for vandalising his books. It was there that he first fell in “love”, or rather was infatuated, with a girl whose name he has forgotten.

He loved cartoons like any child & used to hate it when his morning cartoons were interrupted by the school van. He even came up with the idea of a tv inside a van, yes the car tv was his brainchild!

When he was 5 he was enrolled into St. Thomas’ College, Mount Lavinia. He was 1 out of 5 Majeeds in the school at the time. He carried a blue back pack & a pink/green bottle & was photographed unknowingly by a spy his mother had hired -_- He can’t seem to find the picture.

He was a quiet, innocent pupil that did his homework & listened during class. His only friends were the ones who spoke English, since that was the only language he knew.

He was curious when it came to religion. He used to think he was the only Muslim in his grade & went with his Christian friend to the chapel during religious observance. But what he observed was strange. He did not understand what was so fascinating about a man wearing a white robe with long hair like a girl. When his teacher asked him to draw a picture beside the words he wrote he paused at “God”. Then his Christian friend said he knew what God looked like and showed Imaad what he had drawn, it looked a lot like the man in white he had seen in the chapel. After that he soon learned that he was not the only Muslim & he was soon befriended by other Muslims.

As I said he was a quiet pupil, too quiet. To the point where he once soiled himself to avoid disrupting the class. He was also shy, his mother gave him a bar of soap to give the maid who had cleaned him up, but instead he just got rid of it.

At home he was quite the opposite. He was playful, cheery & noisy! He loved to bug his sisters & that would always get him in trouble. This was when he first began to hate his mother. She used to beat him up whenever he made his sister cry. If he said anything wrong she’d rub chili on his lips.

But she was his mother, he knew she cared. Like the time he got his head stuck in the balcony railing whilst playing with a yo-yo. She tried hard to get him out & she didn’t give up until he was. He was glad, but his yo-yo laid in pieces on the ground. Imaad was known for being the one who breaks things. He was the first person everyone would look at & the first person to deny any involvement.

He had a lot of memorable times back in Charles Place. Like the time he left his brothers room at 12 in the night to go sleep in his parents room & on the way up the stairs he saw a flashing green light that to him looked menacing. It read “12:00” but to him it seemed more like “Time to die!”

The times he used to collect cigarette buds and dip the filter in some weird yellow stuff. His grandfather used to give him his empty Benson & Hedges packs which he’d turn into trains and buildings using rubber bands.

The time he was leaving his neighbours house and didn’t know he was being chased by a dog -_-

The time he was playing with a monopoly car on the staircase railing & he slipped and fell, tumbling down the stairs. His chin opened up & required stitches, he can still feel the scar.

The time his cousin fell on his foot -_- He never walked straight after that.

The time he watched the first ever ladder match on WWF between Shawn Micheals & Razor Ramone. He cried when Razor Ramone put Shawn Micheals’ leg in the ladder and jumped on it. But he was overjoyed when in the end Shawn Micheals won by playing fair. He was his favourite wrestler.

And then there was the time his sister dressed him up in a sari -_-

And also the time his neighbours drew a line across the road saying he could not pass it, after learning that their father owned the road -_-

And of course the time his cousin sisters came to visit and he got all excited and was being his usual retarded self. But then, they were about to leave. His universe was shattered 😐

He threw a tantrum! He ran into his room and slammed his door. And he’ll throw another tantrum if you don’t comment on this -_-

huh?I sucked at cricket -_-PSMy first somersault XDMe being a retard… XDcan’t this thing go any faster!?!bday of a killer -_-brothers retarded face -_-Attack of the mumps!!! :O


14 Responses to “Chapter One – The Early Years”
  1. Ahamed Nizar says:

    1st to comment 🙂 nice

  2. kevinliyanage says:


  3. kashmira says:

    Haha,this is hilarious!!
    Its really gooood!!:D:D
    Cant wait for chapter 2 imaad!!!

  4. some1 :) says:

    This is really funny:)
    i liked it:)
    cant wait for the next chapter:)

  5. Munchi says:

    hehe.. nice indeed! n vewwwyy cute =P

  6. Chandrin says:

    f**kin awesome man… i wanna read the rest… damn well written… this may become like waiting to watch heroes every week… until august at least (thts whn season 3 comes out :D)…

  7. reeve says:

    it’s fucking hilarious!
    typical you..
    and like everyone else i can’t wait for the next chapter..

  8. lil chriz says:

    reeve itz not fukin hilarios okayy itz cutee speshly the babyy pixx imaad!! but itz still unfair that we have 2 wait til NEXT YEAR 2 get chapter 2. -_-

  9. RiOt-CoNtRoL says:

    Nice piece of writing asstard…u lookd wayyyyy bettr as a baby 😀 😛 Forcing me to comment and all….idiot….

  10. ....dead or alive.... says:


    and its COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to all ur other posts=D

  11. ZM says:

    So cute! I mean, the writing and the pics. Wonder who you were talking about at the end? 😉

  12. Cuteness!!!

    I loved the humour 🙂

    You and Shaakir look So darn naughty…( I Can actually see a mischievous twinkle in the eyes)

  13. munira says:

    haha. this is awesome:) and extremely well written.
    must say, you have had quite the childhood imaad:P

  14. sara says:

    haha …typical you as reeve says
    funny lol …
    and cute pics 😛

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