From outside looking in…
Somehow I don’t feel like writing this… or anything for that matter on this blog anymore.
I feel like I’ve squeezed out every last drop of inspiration I had in me, I feel exhausted.
I wanted to write about fate – I ended up writing the same thing over and over.
I wanted to write about faith – but I’m too confused myself about that.
I wanted to write about home – I hardly ever feel at home, there’s nothing much to talk about there.
So now I’m just going to try and look inside, and make sense of what I see.
First of all, I don’t think I believe in fate anymore. At least not as much as I used to.
I think it exists, but I don’t like it… I can’t accept the fact that some things are just not meant to be.
Because at first I thought they were because they were meant to be!
Fate may not lead you, to where you long to be…
I don’t have much faith in anything, least in myself.
I believe that a God exists, I believe that there is one creator.
I don’t necessarily agree with everything this God says and I don’t really like Him that much.
But I can’t blame someone that hardly anyone believes in nowadays.
I can only blame myself, for not having faith in myself.
My every action always has its downfall.
I’ve never created a single perfect thing, then again, who has?
Can you call anything perfect?
There are always flaws… you just have to look close enough to see them.
But flaws can be beautiful.
If two wrongs can make a right, then you could probably make something useful out of flaws, can’t you?
I’ve never called my house a home, I hardly ever feel at home.
To me home is not a place, it shouldn’t be limited to a place.
Home is a state of mind.
I’ve never woken up and felt like I’m at home.
I need to walk around, think, and be at ease with myself.
It’s only then that I can feel some sibilance of “home”
Home is the feeling of comfort in your surroundings, the sense of belonging.
You can’t build a home with just bricks and cement.
Even the “homeless” have a home.
As far as I’m concerned they’re just houseless.
There’s more I could say…
but I don’t want to start blabbering.
So I’ll just stop here, I’ll probably continue this later.
Don’t expect anything emotional for a while.
It’s just going to be introverting from now on for a while.