A rant, a rave, whatever you want to call it.

(Maynard speaking)
We’ve been… we’ve been trying something… a little different this tour. We’ve been looking at… one of our songs… from a different angle… under a different light… so we can hopefully kind of… see it almost for the first time. We’d like to try that for you tonight, is that OK?
We’re gonna need your help though. We need your help, and your permission. So we need you to find a comfortable space, that’s not only comfortable, but vulnerable, and to just shut your eyes and go there, and we’ll meet you on the other side.

I’m writing this post whilst listening to Tool’s Pushit, the live version off the Salival album. I’ve been listening to a lot of Tool lately. I’ve been reading Through the looking glass by Lewis Carroll 😐 (no it’s not a ‘children’s book’ it’s ‘literary nonsense’ 😀 ). And I’ve also been reading V for Vendetta, the comic, or Graphic Novel.

All of these have been influencing me, or rather have inspired me a lot. If you read that stuff and listen to Tool’s music, and then read my earlier post, I guess you’ll see how.

I’ve also watched a few movies that have inspired me, opened my mind up to some things… one of them would be Donnie Darko. I wanted to watch this around the time I watched Butterfly Effect, but I didn’t get around to watching it. I finally did, last month, and 😐

I watched the directors cut, I didn’t have a choice, and it was amazing. It might take you a while to figure out wtf’s going on, but once you do develop your own interpretation of the story… woah…
The directors cut sort of helps you out though, if you watch the theatrical cut you’ll need to watch it a few times over to get what’s going on, if you don’t you’ll probably just forget about it and probably just think of it as “theatrical nonsense.”

One of the elements of the film, was the white rabbit character, which I’ve noticed in a lot of films that have inspired me. (e.g. The Matrix, no it’s not just some action flick -_- The red pill/blue pill philosophy itself did a lot to me…) And after watching Donnie Darko, and thinking about all this stuff, concepts of time travel etc. As usual my mind began to wander… and took me on many different paths 😀
I don’t think I can call them thought streams anymore o.O

And so this lead me into Lewis Carroll’s work. Alice in Wonderland… seemed a little too childish, and then I found out about the “sequel” Through the looking glass, and I started reading it… I read it was about time going backwards and stuff so I didn’t bother reading it in order 😛
Started with the first chapter, then moved on to the one with Humpty Dumpty. What kept me interested in the book, strangely, was Humpty Dumpty’s recital:
“In winter, when the fields are white,
I sing this song for your delight—
In spring, when woods are getting green,
I‘ll try and tell you what I mean.
In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you’ll understand the song:
In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
Take pen and ink, and write it down.”

[Timothy Leary sample:
Think for yourself
Question authority
Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself.
Think for yourself.
Question authority.]

Tool’s Third Eye, the live version off Salival, just started playing.

A child’s rhyme stuck in my head
It said that life is but a dream
I’ve spent so many years in question
to find I’ve known this all along

Now, where was I?

Who cares…
Right now, my mind is on…
Well three dots ago it was about something else 😛
And it just wandered into…
“Have I ever written anything ‘happy’?”

What do I write about?

“People that just assume that we’re hateful don’t understand that hate, and anger, are two completely separate energies. They might have a similar emotional charge to them but anger is a much more constructive… emotion, than hate, and that’s what we’re more about, it’s the anger. Not all our music, I’m just saying that particular element that people see in it: the aggressive nature, the emotional or angry nature of it; and in conjunction with the more compassionate, there’s a lot of light in our music, there’s a lot of light in the end of the tunnel, but of course you have to make an effort, to purge yourself through more of the muck to get there.” Maynard James Keenan

I couldn’t care less if it was “happy” or not. -_-
Just because my blog’s BLACK doesn’t mean it needs sunshine -_-
FYI black absorbs light… it just doesn’t reflect or emit it 😛
And also, on a more spiritual and or philosophical note, Black supposedly absorbs vibes and auras 😀
Sheesh… be grateful my nails aren’t black anymore…

WTF is up with all these self-righteous assholes…
I guess Ahamed would know who I’m talking about.
So I’m fucked up because I used to wear black nail polish?

Anyway, I’m going to try and not get carried away…

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Lateralus, the title track off Tool’s album Lateralus( did I need to say that? :S )  just started playing…
Did you know that Maynard counts while singing this?
Each line has something to do with the Fibonacci sequence.

Yes, I say hmmm… alot.
And I’m not going to stop -_-


Back to the point…
There is no point.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

I had a rather strange experience whilst listening to this song and reading Through the looking glass…
I was on one of the earlier chapters, I had read a few chapters from the Humpty Dumpty chapter and decided to start from the beginning, it was the looking glass garden I think… (By now I hope you’ve realised this post doesn’t really have a timeline or anything unlike my previous chronological piece of crap post that all you fags liked so much, screw timelines, time is RELATIVE.)
Alice sees the Red Queen and she tries to walk towards her, and since everything’s all fucked up in the looking glass world, when she walks forward the Queen disappears -___-
But Alice isn’t dumb, so she looks around and finds the Red Queen again and this time instead of walking towards the Red Queen, she walks away from her… and what happens then?

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I’m reaching up and reaching out,
I’m reaching fo
r the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one’s been.
We’ll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one’s been.


I heard the line about the spiral (from the song) whilst thinking about the spiral paths of the looking glass garden and 😐
Don’t you just love it when things you’d think have nothing to do with each other suddenly feel like they’re made for each other!?!
Or am I alone on that one… -_-

Spiral out. Keep going, going…

5 Responses to “A rant, a rave, whatever you want to call it.”
  1. colorblind says:

    hmmm…yes,you write hmmm a lot… =) ….we talked about it,so you know my opinion…about the book by carroll lewis-it’s not a book for children,it’s much deeper…and about the other stuff you wrote i’ll just ”answer” this: =/ …

  2. Shru says:

    I lost thread of the rant/rave/whatever-it-was somewhere along the way…but I noticed that you mentioned Lewis Carroll. Funnily enough I was reading Alice in Wonderland again like a week ago. It’s interesting when read now from our more mature (hopefully) perspective; shisha and magic mushrooms, who’d have thought.
    Oh and read his poem Phantasmagoria – it’s long, but really great 🙂

    And black nails on a guy – regardless of the colour, nail polish on guys isn’t something you see every day is it, at least in colombo 😉

  3. gutterflower says:

    Just curious. But was this a subtle hint at me? I won’t get offended, I swear.

  4. St.Fallen says:

    quite possibly
    but not directly at you
    you’re not the only one who’s asked me to write something happy 😛

  5. Sharanya says:

    hehe 🙂 randomness!!

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