I am afraid…

… of not picking up where I left off

… of leaving behind things I can’t live without, not realizing their importance

… of lying to myself

… of cheating myself

… of jeopardizing someone who I care about for my own selfish needs

… of being used, when I’m not using them back

… of being trusted by someone I lie to all the time

… of not being trusted by someone I’m completely honest to

… of being an asshole (this usually tends to end friendships)

… of unrequited love

… of becoming something I’m not

… of becoming something I hate

… of, most of all, being alone.

I’m afraid that when my life ends, I will be alone, I will die alone. It’s not a fear of death, though. We were taught that in order to fully appreciate this life you have to acknowledge that death is always at your shoulder, and I do.

“Every living creature on this Earth dies alone”, that comes from one of my favourite movies Donnie Darko. The lead character himself is afraid of this very same thing, which comforted me a little, but in the end he deals with it by letting himself die, because that was the only way (sorry if I spoiled the movie for anyone, it’s a good movie nevertheless, get it!)

I’m afraid that all that I believe in is untrue, but that doesn’t matter does it? As long as you believe it, it’s true! To you and only you. Dr. Janet LeValley (the psych teacher at ANC) says that all that is necessary for something to be ‘real’ is that two people agree on an idea, and it materializes as something acceptable and real. So if you’ve got someone who believes in what you believe, then you should hold onto that belief, and to them. Because that is truly all that is real, and all that is yours.

Which is what I’m going to do now (:

Thank you Lady Divine for giving me permission to write a post similar to the format of yours (:
I really like the idea, though it would be annoying if it was used in those tagging thing, those are just so fucking annoying -_-

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Comments
4 Responses to “I am afraid…”
  1. mysoundingboard123 says:

    Beautiful… I like the way you write 😀

  2. Dylan` says:

    hmmmm different…but nice maan…
    thanks for killing donnie darko for everyone though 😛

  3. lady divine says:

    you’re most welcome dear saint..:)
    and it’s nice… very nice…

  4. nefarious says:

    good post prince of darkness.

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