In Life and Death.

What is ‘death’?
Do we all have the same definition of death?
Do we all have the same perception of death?
Do we all have the same fear of death?

I don’t fear death.
I’m not lying, I don’t. In the previous post I explained that it is the fear of dying alone that I have. My view of death is the end of this life as we know it, the end of this existence. I believe in the soul, the existence and persistence of it. I believe that the soul transcends this body and continues to live on and has no beginning nor end. Much like the idea of God.

This soul is what we are, what we will always be, NOT who we are. It has many parts, many layers to it. I like to think of it as a Rubik’s cube, you know where you’ve got all these parts and you twist it around to try and put things in order, and that’s how it is with life. With each life we’re trying to fix things and find spiritual enlightenment. Yes, I believe in rebirth, my view however is a little different.

I once had this talk with my aunt about soul-mates. I believe that soul-mates never die. She said that there are those who believe that there is a place where our souls meet each other, before they come to occupy a body, and that is how we find our soul-mates. And once they are down here on Earth they spend their entire time looking for this soul-mate. I’d like to believe that I have a soul-mates wandering the Earth somewhere. Sometimes I believe I’ve already found them. It’s a comforting feeling, when you know that even though you don’t know this person, something deep within you, within your core, tells you that you do.

Back to the soul, think of this Rubik’s cube, each part is a different aspect of our personality, our skin colour, our voice, our passions, our goals, our desires, our everything. And as we turn on these we discover different possibilities, different versions of our self, but we are all the same. This may come off as a bit preachy, but this is just my idea of life.

And above all else we are all human, and we are all equal as human beings. We all possess a soul. And I believe that what we call God, is actually a part of this soul. The most stable part of it, the very core of our soul. And this we all have, and it is common to all of us in that it is exactly the same for every one of us at every point of our lives. It never changes, it is always there for us. It provides us means of communication to our inner self, it makes us feel as though we’re not alone, it speaks to us when there is no one else, we can talk to it when there’s no one there. It is what gets us by.

Another important part of the the cube is of course the string, the rubbery elastic thing that holds us together. I’m going to quote something from one of my favourite movies and comic books V for Vendetta. “An inch. It’s small and it’s fragile and it’s the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. ”

Our integrity. “It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.” That is what holds us together, and keeps us in place. You must ALWAYS remain true to yourself, throughout each and every life that you lead, you have to be true to yourself. If you don’t, things get mangled, fall apart, and shit happens. Stay true to yourself.

So that’s all for the soul rubbish. Now to talk about death again. Right now I actually feel a little depressed, which I haven’t felt in a while, but it isn’t an uncommon feeling to me. And I feel as though, I want to die. But not in an emo way, in a more, Goth way. 😛

Hehe. What I mean is that. I think right now what I need is something to open my eyes and show me that this life is indeed worth living. Something that will take me back into the core of my soul and show me that there is a point to all of this. I need a near death experience, I want to feel the pain of death. The ‘sensation’ if you will. I want to survive it. I want to fight through it. I want to thrive for it. I want to win it.

Might sound a little demented but yeah. I want that. I want it now. I might even shock myself in order to do it, they say you’ll be out for 27 seconds, and in those 27 seconds you’ll experience all that death has to offer. Your life will flash before your eyes, you’ll see a light at the end of the tunnel, blah di dah, whatever it is. I want to experience it, I want to see it, I want to feel it, I want to hear it, I want to touch it, I want to taste it.

I want it now.

12 Responses to “In Life and Death.”
  1. bkladyired says:

    Interesting. I’ve wondered about death but really, in the big picture, if I knew what happened then and thereafter I might just throw up my hands and say to hell with it. I see it as – experience the shyt we’re dealing with here, at least for now, and leave at least one present to unwrap in the end. No matter what you know, that before you go there’s going to be something that you never had before. But that’s a me thing.

    I don’t think a near death experience is gonna do it for you though – you know, bring you back to life (or am I taking it too literal?) For me, trying to conquer, accomplish, overcome or create does it. Basically, makingor doing a MY thing that I don’t give two shyts what other people think about. But, again, that’s a me thing.

  2. reeve says:

    the after life is a mystery. the only thing closest a human has come to the soul is a ghost. i want to live forever. what if all this afterlife jibberish dosen’t exist. if it does exist, where’s the proof. what if when we die, we die. just turn to dust. who’s to know for fact…

    it’s one mstery we need to solve.

    and as for god and heaven.
    well, it is my faith. but one can never help but doubt…

    and for pete’s sake don’t atempt to kill yourself, you arsewipe!

  3. kalusudda says:

    Hello St. Fallen, enjoyed the read! I don’t fear the death either. Otherwise I will not be able to do the crazy things I do. But lately the wanting is emerging squashing the boastfulness. It is humbling to have almost died but I was not sorry. But is breaks my heart to see my Mom in tears, she never cries but I make her do! My GF too. So I don’t know! (Today I had a tire blown on me while traveling 80miles per hour. Nothing happened but the Adrenalin rush trying to stay balanced and not hit others was great. It is hard this adrenalin thing is addictive.

  4. Posts like this make me question your age! Amazing post!

  5. St.Fallen says:

    fine then don’t believe me 😛

  6. Ahamed Nizar says:

    hmmmmmmmmm dont fear death… its better

    and reeve living forever is the ultimate curse…

  7. FRGT10 says:

    Hmm.. this is interesting. I dont fear death, I actually fear life. Death is inevitable and life is unpredictable you never know what happens next. I fear that I will not be able to do everything I want to do in my life. That my dreams will be left unattained. And that is why like u said a near death experience is needed. To shock us into reality and make us strive for what we want. We always think that want to do something, but then get lost in our daily schedules and agendas.

    In the end we have achieved nothing we wanted to.. I’m looking for a near death experience too. I want that to be the turning point in my life. a new beginning..i wouldn’t call that a near death experience, its more like a near life experience

  8. Brain Games says:

    The topic is very interesting. I can’t help but to give my insight. Before one of my greatest fear was death. Now, I don’t think so! We will experience death and the best thing to do is, to be ready and learn to deal with it and just enjoy life.

    I agree that our integrity is the very last inch of us and we should remain true to our self.

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  1. […] grand ma The first blog I read today was St.fallen’s about death and life, having almost kissed the death recently and that being not the first time either, I think I should […]

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