A friend of mine’s cousin is dying of blood cancer. I couldn’t care less. Don’t misunderstand me though, I do take death seriously, but I don’t even know this person so any advice I give is going to be objective.
Two years ago my aunt passed away from cancer, I haven’t cried since. It was my first experience with death, it was horrific. The way the tears just burst out as I heard the news. The way I knew what words were about to fall out of my Father’s mouth. The way my best friend knew what I had just heard without me even telling him just from my reaction as I was informed over the phone. It was unearthly.
A few months later it was my Grandmother’s time to pass, I didn’t cry, I let her go, her time had come. I just regretted that I didn’t go talk to her the last time she visited, she was sleeping the whole time anyway, but that was no excuse.
So I toughened up I guess. Death took on a different meaning to me. I’ve yet to really think about what that meaning is. All I know is that I do not fear it, maybe because I do not know it? They say that cancer patients turn out to be some of the strongest people when it comes to dealing with death, albeit the weakest when it comes to their condition. So isn’t that a good thing?
Why doesn’t anyone ever look at the bright side of death? Why is it always associated with grim reapers and mourning and such? In darkness there is light, as in yin there is yang. You just need to look hard enough to find it, maybe that’s the light at the end of the tunnel? In this case that would be a maze I guess. Nevertheless you have your light awaiting you at the end, don’t worry.
Think of all the good things. At least they have the chance to repent, the time to make things right again, not all people have this luxury when their about to die. When death comes around you start to look at your life in a whole different light, and I use the word light for a reason. It shines a light on things, it makes it seem brighter. Phrases like “the good ol’ days” and “the times of our lives” come in. Things change.
She’s not handling it too well, this friend of mine. To me it seems like she’s afraid. The family has vested it in her to inform him of his condition. I feel sorry for both of them, but not too much. She says she’s close to him, so she should stand up and face the fact that he has to know. So I told her she needs to stop saying things like “easy for you to say” and “if you were in my position you wouldn’t say that”, to me that’s just her cowering away. If she were to put herself in his position, God help her. Nothing is easy, ease is just an illusion, merely a veil. Everything is hard, everything is difficult. But nothing that is needed is impossible. If it must be done, there will be a way.
I told her to take it off her mind (impossible but at least try) and just talk to him about anything. And as it goes on she’ll just have to say it as some point, or at least she’ll know if she can do it or not. If she can’t then she’s not the right one. It’s not her fault. I think he’s a Buddhist, so if he believes in rebirth then there’s where he can find comfort. In anything that he may believe in there must be some place where he will find it. There is always light among the dark. He needs to find it, and she needs to help him. In yin is yang, in death is life.
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