In Death – Is Life

A friend of mine’s cousin is dying of blood cancer. I couldn’t care less. Don’t misunderstand me though, I do take death seriously, but I don’t even know this person so any advice I give is going to be objective.

Two years ago my aunt passed away from cancer, I haven’t cried since. It was my first experience with death, it was horrific. The way the tears just burst out as I heard the news. The way I knew what words were about to fall out of my Father’s mouth. The way my best friend knew what I had just heard without me even telling him just from my reaction as I was informed over the phone. It was unearthly.

A few months later it was my Grandmother’s time to pass, I didn’t cry, I let her go, her time had come. I just regretted that I didn’t go talk to her the last time she visited, she was sleeping the whole time anyway, but that was no excuse.

So I toughened up I guess. Death took on a different meaning to me. I’ve yet to really think about what that meaning is. All I know is that I do not fear it, maybe because I do not know it? They say that cancer patients turn out to be some of the strongest people when it comes to dealing with death, albeit the weakest when it comes to their condition. So isn’t that a good thing?

Why doesn’t anyone ever look at the bright side of death? Why is it always associated with grim reapers and mourning and such? In darkness there is light, as in yin there is yang. You just need to look hard enough to find it, maybe that’s the light at the end of the tunnel? In this case that would be a maze I guess. Nevertheless you have your light awaiting you at the end, don’t worry.

Think of all the good things. At least they have the chance to repent, the time to make things right again, not all people have this luxury when their about to die. When death comes around you start to look at your life in a whole different light, and I use the word light for a reason. It shines a light on things, it makes it seem brighter. Phrases like “the good ol’ days” and “the times of our lives” come in. Things change.

She’s not handling it too well, this friend of mine. To me it seems like she’s afraid. The family has vested it in her to inform him of his condition. I feel sorry for both of them, but not too much. She says she’s close to him, so she should stand up and face the fact that he has to know. So I told her she needs to stop saying things like “easy for you to say” and “if you were in my position you wouldn’t say that”, to me that’s just her cowering away. If she were to put herself in his position, God help her. Nothing is easy, ease is just an illusion, merely a veil. Everything is hard, everything is difficult. But nothing that is needed is impossible. If it must be done, there will be a way.

I told her to take it off her mind (impossible but at least try) and just talk to him about anything. And as it goes on she’ll just have to say it as some point, or at least she’ll know if she can do it or not. If she can’t then she’s not the right one. It’s not her fault. I think he’s a Buddhist, so if he believes in rebirth then there’s where he can find comfort. In anything that he may believe in there must be some place where he will find it. There is always light among the dark. He needs to find it, and she needs to help him. In yin is yang, in death is life.

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The above image is ©2007-2008 *angelreich

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Comments
8 Responses to “In Death – Is Life”
  1. dylan` says:

    personally…
    death is the most mysterious thing, theres ever been. everybody dies, like you said theres a ying and yang to it, to live you have to be able to die,and vice versa,two sides to it, the two extremes. everybody dies, but noone knows for sure what happens once we do die.
    well as we grow up we are fed these stories of rebirth of afterlife, a brighter tommorow by the things and people we have been taught to trust…
    be it religion,family,and the list goes on…
    but my logic to this whole deal is, noone knows what happens when you die. ofcourse you are told that this will happen and that will happen. but will you ever know unless you die, and once you die what the point in knowing that this is what happens cos your fucking dead in the first fucking place! no coming back…
    so…
    i chose to belive that once i die, i will evaporate into mid-air, just a poof! and then disappear…thats how i gain any satisfaction. i dont want a re-birth or a afterlife. just a poof!
    i know its silly me believing that there will be no consequances once i die. that i will just vanish. but i can just as easily turn it ariound and say uve never dies have you so how are you so sure about it? im not 100% sure either. but the thought gives me satisfaction. so fuck you if your telling me the idea of meeting up with your family and all those you love isnt a comforting thought to you…
    dont ask me why i bothered to type this.
    but im bored. and need some justification about my religuos views…
    and furthermore i think that having a expiry date like when you got cancer or something is a great thing…
    cos you know or atleast you can estimate when your gonna tick off…
    and thus you can atleast take the time to tell those you love and care for that you do love and care for them…and you can guiltfy them to do the dishes for you 🙂
    so just like that im off…
    poof!

  2. 000colorblind000 says:

    well sometimes there is no comfort if you fell like you’ve done nothing,if there is nothing that you’ve left behind…i can’t imagine that there is some kind of life in death,like afterlife but i have time to start believe in it without any force of others… 🙂
    when it comes to facing with death some people do want to make things better but if you survive it (i’m not talking about natural death,of course) after some time you forget about all that and go back to the usual…my first facing with death was when my grandfather died but i was to little to understand so to me it was all confusing and a bit annoying (the traditional funeral and stuff),the second time (well it was not the second second but it was the second time that i felt anything) was my other grandfathers death,it was harder because i got a chance to know better that one and i liked him very much…but he was very sick so we all knew he’s not going to live for long time…somehow you can’t prepare for those things because you always think there is enough time,so usually you miss the moment to tell the person how much you care about him/her…i think you did a right thing,she’s not going to make him feel better by being sad…and even if you wanted to you can’t care for someone or something that you don’t know,so you’re not cruel you’re just honest…

  3. moo says:

    There is also peace in death I think ..

  4. St.Fallen says:

    Only in death is there peace 😉

    and Dylan, I agree with you on most of these (why aren’t you as menacingtomatomonster btw?)
    but I didn’t say anything about family not being comfort
    it’s just that it’s hard for them to comfort you rather than feeling sorry for you
    your beliefs don’t sympathize, they console.

  5. nefarious says:

    I know what its like to lose someone to cancer. and sometimes you just have to accept death. no matter what shape it comes in.
    good post majeed.

  6. Ahamed Nizar says:

    death should be embraced, not feared.
    everyone knows that they will die some time of their life. so why stand up and not fear death only if we have a condition. condition or not. we are going to die.

  7. soph says:

    death is a question. how will we die? when do we die? why do we die? People are afriad of death, asking these questions. From my veiw.. we all have to die some day, whether its tonight, next year, 20 from now etc. We shouldnt fear it. When out time comes, our time will come. Which is the beggining, life or death?.. its all part of a circle really….
    anywayyyy thats my view… not very clear but yess
    PS.
    m reading this really good book called ‘the five people you meet in heaven’ its really good so far. I’d advise everyone to take a look at it.

  8. ....deadoralive.... says:

    dude they’ve pretty much said it all..i mean…at least that’s what everyone wants to hear right? no one knows..how ..when or where we’re gonna die. for crying out loud…it could be in the middle of anything! anything at all. truth be told..not all of us want to accept death today…it’s too much of a wonderful happening life. what do we tell each other? some day I’m gonna grow up..get married..get a job and go to Florida for a holiday. it’s always been about the future.. why would anyone Want to think about life after death..esp. when life’s just so sweet and good right now? =/

    and then again… as for life after death, they say the moment you die, angels descend from heaven and rip your soul apart from your body, and you watch as they bury you. think about how,..the person you once lived as on earth…is not just like any other man. dust upon dust..and finally a plank on his head. and he’s surrounded by nothing but the creatures of the underground…and PITCH black darkness. literally impossible to imagine…coz this time..you’re not stuck in any dark closet and no ones gonna open the door for you at some point. you’re helpless…bound to the ground. trapped in your own self and the soul it experiences every single moment of it.. no body, no heart or mind. just your soul…which we don’t even think about when we’re alive.. and then…the angels they begin their questioning as to whether you achieved your purpose of life on this earth. and here again…there’s no one but you to answer… it’s scary actually..the thought of death… and to believe that you’re going to lay there until judgment day when your soul finally meets its body…… we’re talking a very long time o.O

    and then there’s life in the hereafter. death itself….is a question of faith bas…this guy..he’s Buddhist… he believes in rebirth as you said. so apparently…if he was a sinner in this world…he’s going to be reborn as something bad… for us….we sin….and we repent…..and He forgives.. we pay for what we did in hell…but as Muslims…we’re going to heaven anyway eventually. this whole question of is there joy in death, most certainly not… life in death, now that depends on what you actually call life….

    PS-Ahamed Nizar…is lame -.-

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