."We All Have These Moments"
“We all have these moments”, I’ve been thinking about those words for a while since I read a comment on my previous post. Normally I’d reply “no, we don’t” in an attempt to seperate myself from everyone else, but, I can’t be bothered doing that anymore. Sure, we all have these moments, but does it help?
Does the fact that other people too experience the same thing as you provide any real comfort? It doesn’t for me. It somehow devalues it, makes it seem unworthy of any effort to get out of feeling that way. Suddenly, my “struggle”, seems childish and… insignificant. I could use more-fitting words, but my mind’s not in the right state right now to be looking for them.
Maybe we do. Yeah, you’re right, we all probably do. This post is pointless, but I had to get that out. Just a thought, but yeah. Anyways.
There’s a strange comfort that comes out of dreaming your own death. I use the word “dream” intentionally, because I don’t mean a nightmare. When fear, anxiety and regret fill up my body and mind, I often imagine jumping off the second/third floor/roof. And the thought calms me down. Does that make me suicidal? I don’t know. I don’t care. All I know is I’m calm, and I’m glad. Just hope it lasts.
I also imagined that before I jumped I would write a long blog post, and it would end with this song: