Fuck You, Kottu.


not very appetising, is it?

not very appetising, is it?


Seriously, who the fuck do you think you are?

You think you can just decide to crash whenever you’re not feeling like dishing out the shittest Sri Lankan rotti, onions, leeks, cheese, egg, chicken and sweat all put together to make a fuckathon of Kottu? How vain are you?

We don’t need you, as much as you think we do, you know. We have other means of achieving what you have to offer, like, Google Reader, Achcharu, Pilawoos, Hijra, and of course the loo. And most of them offer better services than you could ever even dream of… er… serving us.

Like, for instance, Google Reader let’s us follow just the blogs we actually WANT to read, this comes in handy for those allergic to onions, and who don’t consider sweat to be a flavour enhancer. And everyone knows the service at Pilawoos is way ahead of Kottu. I mean, seriously, if you stopped your car on the side of the road to read the latest posts on your mobile or laptop, it’s quite likely that you’re going to have a cop in your side-mirror soon, and not a waiter. See what I mean? No? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PUT THE DAMN MIRRORS OUT YOU FUCKING MORON!

Seriously, Kottu, you need to get your act together. Apparently there’s like 300 blogs on you, the menu at Pilawoos is home to far less, you could learn something from them. I mean, I don’t have anything against local cheese, but stale cheese is… still fucking stale. Get rid of it. 

So, Kottu, what say you?
Are you gonna pull up your socks and get into shape?
Or just sit there, ever expanding, with the most non-sensical, blonde, idiotic, egomanical, schizophrenic shit sprouting all over you, like fucking fungus that you pass off as mushrooms.

You’re not fooling anyone, Kottu, certainly not me!

nb: in case you haven’t noticed, Kottu went down for quite a while recently, it’s back up thankfully, but I think this would have been a good opportunity to do a little spring cleaning, hence the post. and yeah, it’s modelled on Fuck You, Penguin. Deal with it 😛 

32 Responses to “Fuck You, Kottu.”
  1. N B says:

    He He Imaad 🙂

    What is this about really? Little lost here kiddo. Just a small correction, kottu doesn’t have as much as 300 members as you say. It has only 121 to be precise. Just check here.


    Go there, type kottu.org and you will know all of Indi’s hypocrisy. BTW, even of these 121 are blogs that are deleted. Check these for example.

    http://sparklinglittlestar.blogspot.com – Shashika Corea
    http://sabbyaz.blogspot.com – A perfectly perplexing conundrum

    They are listed on kottu even after respective bloggers have long closed their blogs. Silly but true. Its just Indi’s numbers game. Besides same URL is used for different names, which is why it looks like 300. Cunning Indi’s work 🙂

    Well, like you say I depend on other sources, though I admit I still visit Kottu once in a while, just out of curiosity than any purpose.

    Dude you should be studying no? Goolbai Gunasekera is having hopes on you I heard. May be you can produce some good results for her. How do you find those bitchy ILMA girls?? Pretty boring no????? There is one bitch who is shitting on Kottu these days. Did you notice that ????

    All the best dude 🙂

    • St. Fallen says:

      er… dude I left AIS some time back. and I’m not an anonymous blogger, so there’s nothing you can really put up that’s going to embarrass or cause problems for me. And as for Ilma girls, never really crossed over to that side, I think it’s like off-limits to penis holders, as Jerry once said. GG never had hopes for me, LOL. And no I have nothing to study for at the moment, cause I’m not at AIS anymore and I’m not doing my A levels (:

      Thanks for the correction on the number of blogs (:
      yes, Indi can be SUCH a hypocrite, but aren’t we all?

      Dude, you seem to have all the time in the world, or at least have found a method to slow down time or some shit. Why don’t you go through all those blogs and make a list of all the good ones, and a list of the shit ones, and mediocre? Then post it up and we can organize a panel to judge them, and eliminate the unnecessary crap. Sound like a plan, fatman? (:

      Or how about this, shut the fuck up, get the fuck off my blog, crawl up your moms pussy and plug your cock up her ass. No, I’ve never tried it so I’m not sure how it would work, but you seem like you have some experience.

      Here’s a fart, it’s your reflection.

    • adnan says:

      uhhhh…. lol wat??? dude.. i’ve been reading your posts for some time.. you seem to have some fascination.. some utter obsession for trying to be able to find facts about people… you always comment starting with the person’s name as if you are trying to establish the fact that you can find a person’s name…. strange person you are..

      and then you proceed to end your comment with something to do with the person’s life…

      what’s my problem and where do i come in here??? fair question if asked.. but i’m just a little curious. i’ve been following this whole scene you seem to have created for some time but i never found the root cause of it… you know.. where it all began (although if i asked around im sure most would say up “your” a** and round the corner).. but i just want to know…

      ps – i hope you don’t come along saying i shouldn’t be so curious cos that would just be a laugh and a half coming from you….

      pps – id like to honestly have a chat with you… get to know you and find out if you really are as bad as this blogosphere makes you out to be…. very very seriously.. (yes i’m expecting a go to hell and some pompously uptight comment about how i am some sad ass… but then.. here’s to hoping i’m wrong..)

      • reud says:

        hehe, dude, the blogosphere hasn’t published half the things it knows about this chap who pretends to be NB… yes, his real name isn’t NB, and he doesn’t live down Isabel Court, coz there ain’t no ‘Isabel Court’ in Colombo to begin with… he uses stock photography to pass off as his family and himself (yes, even his daughters) and as far as I know, the real NB never really blogged… It’s been this impostor all along… So, if you are going to meet him for a chat, I reckon you better insure your ass before you do it, coz we don’t know what kinda psycho this guy really is…

        cheers mate!

    • Jerry says:

      He wasn’t referring to YOU when he said “nb”, dumbass.

  2. Makuluwo says:

    LOL @ NB getting owned.

    And Jerry and you said WHAT? I resent the underlying insult in that sentiment!
    True for the most part though. 😀

    And yez, Kottu IS getting a tad stale-cheese-ey.

  3. black says:

    what do you know – stale, rotting, ‘jobless’ cheese has a voice too!

    * “l’m tasty, okai!!?? and i’ll tell ur mama!! boo hoo! love me!!! LURRVE MEE!! 😥 WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!”


  4. stillhearts says:

    lol man u must’ve been high when u wrote this.. werent u 😛

  5. Gehan says:

    lol that post, along with NB’s comment and ur reply, is by da funniest thing ive read in ages…! 😀

  6. Gehan says:

    oops.. i meant, “by far da funniest thing…”

  7. Kottu does have some silly, whiny posts/bloggers 🙂 but how are we going to distinguish the good from the bad? On what criteria? I’ve seen some really good bloggers posting some crappy posts (maybe I’m guilty of that too) on bad days and seen some mediocre bloggers come up with some crazy-ass good stuff too!!!

    Anyways, good post 🙂

    • St. Fallen says:

      This post was written in a sarcastic tone, personally I think anyone should be allowed to write on whatever they want as long as they’re not out to get someone. But there are certain blogs on Kottu that are really bad, you can’t really change that though.
      What would be interesting is if Kottu took some elements from Achcharu and made the interface more interactive and community based. With tags as well as top picks etc.
      Those are just some ideas though, I still enjoy my kottu, but these days it’s been a little… Stale. So yeah (:

  8. My my, a lil’ stressed aren’t we?! 😛 😉

    And ditto what Jerry said (though without the dumbass bit). To cut out any confusion: N.B. – an abbreviation for nota bene, a Latin expression meaning “note well”; taken from Wiki! 🙂

  9. N B says:

    Hey dude Imaad 🙂

    You are rude. When i saw “NB” I honestly thought you were refering to me. Sorry about that, but that didn’t deserve a harsh reply when the intentions were sincere. Did it? Anyway dude I missed you at Arshad’s wedding in Toronto. Tadaaah…. did i say that? besides i miss all your funny cousins at STC. Small world boy. Don’t jump the gun. Don’t be nasty online coz you will have to meet the same people one day in life. You never know. BTW, when i said you should be studying, i meant it in a sarcastic way knowing you were not doing anything at present 🙂 Errrr………

    Now don’t worry, I’m not tracing your IP address. There was no need for that.

    Cool babeh… Cool… Salaamz. Take care 🙂

    • Jerry says:

      “I’m not an anonymous blogger, so there’s nothing you can really put up that’s going to embarrass or cause problems for me”

      Read that.

      Now read it again.

      It means that fallen here does not hide his identity online. It means that you only make a fool of yourself by exposing what is not hidden. It’s like saying ‘Look! Jerry writes thejester100.blogspot.com! Come fellate me for my l33t skillz!!!’.

      Fallen no hide.

      You no intimidate/scare people.

      You el stupido.

      Do you understand?

    • Jerry says:

      Sorry for the spanish,

      You are stupid.

      That should help you out.

    • LTP says:

      and btw, that cool babeh sounds suspiciously like the sort of thing our good friend “rehani” *cough cough* might say… no? 😛

    • ithaaf hussain says:

      fucking troll… nuff said. you need to talk to someone cos clearly not enough people give you the attention you seem to be craving..

      common disorder all the effing blockheaded trolls suffer from..

      and btw.. if you really are a dude with daughters.. good lord i shall slip in a prayer for them… i can’t imagine them living with a crazed father who’d probably put spy cams in their bathroom to make sure they dont masturbate..

  10. Gehan says:

    lol jeez why didnt i read this blog earlier?! [gets out the popcorn] 😀

  11. Paparé Boy says:

    This shit is getting old, man (not the post, the comments). :S

  12. Pretty obvious his name is Imaad, since the Youtube on my blog gives that away.


  13. Ahamed Nizar says:

    Haha this is hilarious. not the post imaad the comments. but the best is justchilling, dropping by and leaving memo’s on everyones blog. lol

  14. RealNB says:

    Real NB (No Balls) here. Do not trust this pretender who calls himself NB. I am the real one. Come see mysite, you will notice I have no balls.
    I damn kottu too, the moron who runs it did not add me. I think the guy is in love with Padashow.

  15. Hope the slight adjustment to the colour scheme makes it easier on the eye 🙂

  16. No no! That can’t be 🙂
    Are you talking to me, NB? I’m talking about my blog! I thought it’s better now 😦

  17. RealNB says:

    The fake NG just called himself a bitch! Rehni’s blog is actually his! 🙂 Can I do you Bitch or do you want to out me?

  18. TheWhacksteR says:

    woah! how did i miss this! lol.. man, you really turned on the tap here

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