On Crow Shit & Philosophy.

So today was “THE BIG DAY” for the armed forces and the entire country on the whole, I didn’t realize until the day before. ย Meh.

When do they start planning these things? And why am I always told when everyone’s already figured out how they’re getting there and where they’re going afterwards and la di fucking da?

I’m not complaining though, I couldn’t gone if I wanted to, and I didn’t have to walk or creep my way past the check points at Bamba, ’cause I’m cool like that ๐Ÿ˜›

There’s something strangely calming about a peaceful, quiet, unpopulated Duplication Road (strange because I expected it to be eerie). As expected of Sri Lankans, at least one third of the population either stayed at home watching it on TV, while the other one third watched from their offices, and the rest either didn’t give a fuck, or climbed onto rooftops to get a better view. I was in the third erm.. third.

Today I witnessed something I’ve never seen before. There were a bunch of guys just staring down at the road, and suddenly one points at something and tells the others about it and they all laugh hysterically. This was in Sinhala, therefore I didn’t get it at first. But after being pointed in the right direction, I felt my eyes glaze in wonderment. What I saw, was… something… I never thought I’d ever see, in my life.

It was a crow.

Not just any crow!

This mother fucker, was seated in a nest, laid back, all fucking cool and relaxed, with a bunch of other crows just hanging around on branches, enjoying the sun. And he looked so fucking smug and er… I can’t think of more words to describe it. But at that point I was so fucking jealous of that black mofo’ cro’!

Imagine that, just laying back against some straw, enjoying the breeze from the sea (at least the little that gets past all the fucking office buildings), looking down at the stupid humans in kakhi coloured clothing, and the morons with the strange wood and metal stuff in their arms, just standing in the middle of the road, preventing other moronic humans from getting by with their normal, boring, un-perched-on-a-fucking-tree-seated-in-a-nest-with-the-breeze-in-your-hair/feathers expressions on their faces.

But I moved on, well, not really.

The roads were opened again and all the cows got moo-ving again. Bah.ย 

Oh well, later on whilst walking among the herd I had to pass under that particular tree, and I looked up at that crow and I said “you think you’re soooooooo fucking cool, don’t you? well look here, crow, I have… A THUMB! AN OPPOSABLE THUMB! AND FOUR MORE FUCKING FINGERS! AND TWO HANDS! I don’t have wings, and I can’t lie in a nest of straw on a tree, BUT I HAVE THESE, SO HAH! FUCK YOU AND YOUR SILLY BEAK! PECK ON THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!” whilst giving him the finger, the middle finger, not the pinkie, I wasn’t trying to be fancy(if you got that, you’re gay, and so is Spongebob).

I’ve never been shat on by a crow in my entire life. My life hasn’t lasted very long, but it’s still a considerable achievement(the crow shit thing, not the long life thing), when you consider the fact that I’ve had quite a few near-shat-on-by-crow experiences. The first was when I was like, 8-ish or something, I was walking with a friend and he got crow shit on his left shoulder, and I was walking to his left, and NONE of it got on me. ^.^

More recently I had a near-shat-on-I-cbb-typing-the-rest-and-I-actually-spent-more-time-typing-this-hyphens-suck experience while walking towards the usual smoking isspot and the dude next to me got shat on from like five floors above. Now I’m not very good with crow shit dynamics and wind and all, BUT HOLY FUCKING CROW SHIT! THAT BIRD WAS A BLOODY GOOD SHOT! Or shit, rather. Or maybe shat? Hmm.

The most recent though was by the Bera Lake, I don’t walk by there very often, and this was the first time and I noticed there were a lot of fucking trees, with a lot of fucking crows, and a lot of fucking crow shit on the pavement. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to keep things the way they are and NOT get shat on by a crow. So what did I do?

I FUCKING RAN! I FUCKING ZIG-ZAGGED IN THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE MANNER WITH SUCH UNPREDICTABILITY MOST CROWS COULD NEVER EVEN FATHOM OF! I WAS SO GOOD, I EVEN SAW A DROP OF SHIT MISS ME!

Yeah, caps lock is scary, you ever wondered if some people just don’t know that it exists? Like someone just turned the thing on, and that retard never realized it could be turned off. Maybe they thought caps lock is like a child-lock thing for the keyboard. Or…ย WHAT IF SOME PEOPLE JUST HOLD DOWN THE SHIFT KEY TO TYPE IN CAPITALS!?! I actually just tried that, it felt rather… limited ๐Ÿ˜›

Okay, so… coming to the point of this post.ย I think I mentioned philosophy somewhere, let’s see… oh yeah, the title. Well, I don’t have much to say about philisophy, or anything philosophical.

Wait, actually I do:
I like saying Pillowsofical ๐Ÿ˜€

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Comments
23 Responses to “On Crow Shit & Philosophy.”
  1. …fuck those shitting crows man..!

  2. On my way to the Petti Kade near College I nearly had a crow do his thing on me too ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. rannelee says:

    well not shat, but i can remember once i tried to challenge them by trying to tear down their “little fancy nest” on my fevourite tree which i used to climb, and those LOVELY creatures pecked my head. And I actually stopped coming out for sometimes cuz they freaking remember us… well i was sorta mean girl back then ๐Ÿ™‚ not anymore randomly i stand up for “Crow-rights”

  4. Makuluwo says:

    Yeah I can just imagine someone dodging crow-shit matrix-style now.
    I used to try the zigzag method a lot back at school, when the crows flocked the playground.. it worked, but then one day it didn’t. I think the tricky bastards figured out a pattern in my zigzagging after days of careful observation.
    ALSO, from the looks of your mad dialog with that crow, you have been reading WAY too much Fuck You Penguin. ๐Ÿ˜›

  5. black says:

    SO YOU DIDN’T GET SHAT ON AFTER ALL???
    YOUUUUUUUUUUU LUCKY BASTARD!!!!
    I’VE BEEN SHAT ON A FEW TIMES WAITING TO GO HOME AFTER SCHOOL – UNPLEASANT. ๐Ÿ˜€
    (I DO REALIZE THAT CAPS LOCK HERE IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY!! LOL… BUT MAAAAAAAYBE I DUNNO HOW TO TURN IT OFF ๐Ÿ˜› DO YOU FEEL LIKE I’M SHOUTING AT YOU??? ๐Ÿ˜› )

  6. RealNB says:

    There are some birds (Gulls) actually use shit as a weapon, to protect their young. May be crows learned it too. If it catches on padashow might be in trouble! There will be more shit than he can ever handle.

  7. Aiyo … why were they closed? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  8. i must look out for you near the petti kade.. are you there, catching a smoke by any chance on weekdays? Must say hi to you or atleast look out for you. I pass that way all the time.

  9. the pettikade near the ANC car park ๐Ÿ™‚ the one between the old building and the new building ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. kiriappeee says:

    pffft!!!!! i was walking behind you that night and i didn’t get shat on…. eventually the law of averages will shit on you my friend. ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜›

  11. SomapalaSays says:

    You straaaaange saint! But apita aasai!
    http://yourblogrocks.wordpress.com/?p=4267

  12. frizchriz says:

    AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    thats all i have to say ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Romba confused! But that’s how I usually feel after reading something philosophical! ๐Ÿ˜›

    • St. Fallen says:

      aiyayo!
      mannaichithinga!
      sorry about the HORRIBLE tamil transliteration, but I can’t pronounce the language too well anyway so I guess it’s apt ๐Ÿ˜›
      do you need anything clarified? ๐Ÿ˜€

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