On Crow Shit & Philosophy.
So today was “THE BIG DAY” for the armed forces and the entire country on the whole, I didn’t realize until the day before. Meh.
When do they start planning these things? And why am I always told when everyone’s already figured out how they’re getting there and where they’re going afterwards and la di fucking da?
I’m not complaining though, I couldn’t gone if I wanted to, and I didn’t have to walk or creep my way past the check points at Bamba, ’cause I’m cool like that 😛
There’s something strangely calming about a peaceful, quiet, unpopulated Duplication Road (strange because I expected it to be eerie). As expected of Sri Lankans, at least one third of the population either stayed at home watching it on TV, while the other one third watched from their offices, and the rest either didn’t give a fuck, or climbed onto rooftops to get a better view. I was in the third erm.. third.
Today I witnessed something I’ve never seen before. There were a bunch of guys just staring down at the road, and suddenly one points at something and tells the others about it and they all laugh hysterically. This was in Sinhala, therefore I didn’t get it at first. But after being pointed in the right direction, I felt my eyes glaze in wonderment. What I saw, was… something… I never thought I’d ever see, in my life.
It was a crow.
Not just any crow!
This mother fucker, was seated in a nest, laid back, all fucking cool and relaxed, with a bunch of other crows just hanging around on branches, enjoying the sun. And he looked so fucking smug and er… I can’t think of more words to describe it. But at that point I was so fucking jealous of that black mofo’ cro’!
Imagine that, just laying back against some straw, enjoying the breeze from the sea (at least the little that gets past all the fucking office buildings), looking down at the stupid humans in kakhi coloured clothing, and the morons with the strange wood and metal stuff in their arms, just standing in the middle of the road, preventing other moronic humans from getting by with their normal, boring, un-perched-on-a-fucking-tree-seated-in-a-nest-with-the-breeze-in-your-hair/feathers expressions on their faces.
But I moved on, well, not really.
The roads were opened again and all the cows got moo-ving again. Bah.
Oh well, later on whilst walking among the herd I had to pass under that particular tree, and I looked up at that crow and I said “you think you’re soooooooo fucking cool, don’t you? well look here, crow, I have… A THUMB! AN OPPOSABLE THUMB! AND FOUR MORE FUCKING FINGERS! AND TWO HANDS! I don’t have wings, and I can’t lie in a nest of straw on a tree, BUT I HAVE THESE, SO HAH! FUCK YOU AND YOUR SILLY BEAK! PECK ON THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!” whilst giving him the finger, the middle finger, not the pinkie, I wasn’t trying to be fancy(if you got that, you’re gay, and so is Spongebob).
I’ve never been shat on by a crow in my entire life. My life hasn’t lasted very long, but it’s still a considerable achievement(the crow shit thing, not the long life thing), when you consider the fact that I’ve had quite a few near-shat-on-by-crow experiences. The first was when I was like, 8-ish or something, I was walking with a friend and he got crow shit on his left shoulder, and I was walking to his left, and NONE of it got on me. ^.^
More recently I had a near-shat-on-I-cbb-typing-the-rest-and-I-actually-spent-more-time-typing-this-hyphens-suck experience while walking towards the usual smoking isspot and the dude next to me got shat on from like five floors above. Now I’m not very good with crow shit dynamics and wind and all, BUT HOLY FUCKING CROW SHIT! THAT BIRD WAS A BLOODY GOOD SHOT! Or shit, rather. Or maybe shat? Hmm.
The most recent though was by the Bera Lake, I don’t walk by there very often, and this was the first time and I noticed there were a lot of fucking trees, with a lot of fucking crows, and a lot of fucking crow shit on the pavement. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to keep things the way they are and NOT get shat on by a crow. So what did I do?
I FUCKING RAN! I FUCKING ZIG-ZAGGED IN THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE MANNER WITH SUCH UNPREDICTABILITY MOST CROWS COULD NEVER EVEN FATHOM OF! I WAS SO GOOD, I EVEN SAW A DROP OF SHIT MISS ME!
Yeah, caps lock is scary, you ever wondered if some people just don’t know that it exists? Like someone just turned the thing on, and that retard never realized it could be turned off. Maybe they thought caps lock is like a child-lock thing for the keyboard. Or… WHAT IF SOME PEOPLE JUST HOLD DOWN THE SHIFT KEY TO TYPE IN CAPITALS!?! I actually just tried that, it felt rather… limited 😛
Okay, so… coming to the point of this post. I think I mentioned philosophy somewhere, let’s see… oh yeah, the title. Well, I don’t have much to say about philisophy, or anything philosophical.
Wait, actually I do:
I like saying Pillowsofical 😀