God Is On Dialog
I saw the weirdest thing on a bus tonight…
Right across the back, in big ass lettering, it read:
GOD CALLS YOU
My immediate reaction:
HOLY FUCK! So that’s where all those missed calls came from? :O
And it suddenly occured to me, and everything began to make sense.
It was… like a … revelation! Like Moses’ burning bush, or Muhammed’s rendezvous in the cave… a little light came on above my head, just between the horns, and in the middle of my plastic halo.
And just what was this revelation?
You know all those strange calls you get where you just hear a breathy voice murmuring some shit?
Well that’s God!
I know… it’s hard to believe at first, but when you think about it… it all makes sense o_o O_O
Oh and if you want God’s number it’s 0777777777.
Yeah, God is on Dialog, who’d have thunk, eh?
I’m sure Jerry was told in church that God was on Airtel, only Jerry would fall for such a scam. Everyone knows God goes for “the future, today”. Hell, God knew the future yesterday!
If you’re having issues contacting God, well that just means you’re not cool enough. God doesn’t listen to every single one of you, losers. It’s only the priviledged that get through to Him, and aren’t greeted by the “the number you called is not in use” bullshit. So hah! Losers.
And something else I noticed tonight, this time it was on the back of a van:
Don’t Kiss Me…
Like I’d really wanna make out with a van?
Seriously, who does this guy think I am? Papareboy? :S
It was kind of funny though, to think he actually expected me to go park my lips on his Serena ass. Hah! As if.
Fools I tell you, I even saw one woman proudly proclaiming she had a “Baby On Board”. Is that supposed to be a warning that a pregnant woman is driving? Faaark… I wouldn’t wanna be behind that vehicle! Man, if her water burst, or that little bastard started kicking from inside, ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE ON GALLE ROAD!
Bleurgh… Women drivers… *shudder*
Anyways, that’s all for today fools.
Also, if you get a call from 0777666666, DON’T ANSWER!
And don’t call that number either… bad things happen to good people.