Blank.

I feel… very much alone.

Yeah, I say that a lot, it’s amazing “alone” wasn’t on my tweetcloud. Sigh… I don’t know why I feel this way. For the past few months I’ve not felt depressed at all, everything’s gone alright, nothing’s gotten me down for more than a day, but now… I don’t know what it is, maybe everything’s just catching up to me.

I always get along with people easily. I make new friends and instantly get attached to them if I like em, it just clicks. But when they leave, when they disappear, it’s like a black hole forms inside of me, consuming everything. Why do I crave to be attached to someone or something? I don’t like it when people get attached to me, in fact sometimes I hate it. But when I feel like I can’t live without someone, I like it, I enjoy it, and I don’t know why.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying… just blabbering… it’s late and I’m hungry. I can’t go downstairs to get food ’cause it’s locked, so I’ll just have to wait till I feel sleepy. I hope I don’t turn into an insomniac again. I hope…

I’ve been hoping a lot lately. I usually hate using that word, but these days it seems to come naturally. I wonder why. I wonder…

I haven’t wondered about things for a while. I used to spend hours just wondering, wandering in thought, daydreaming, just imagining how things could be. I haven’t done that in a long time. Why? Why…

Why do I even bother sharing this stuff here? Why do I even bother reaching out to anonymous bloggers (even those I’ve met) who have no reason to care about me let alone offer help? Yet some do, and I usually blow them off by saying something blunt. But I don’t regret it, because none of them have ever helped, and most lose interest after a while anyway. Meh…

I’m glad I kept the blog, at least I can vent out now.

I

just

want

to

say

FUCK!!!

FUCK!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!

That’s all.

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Comments
14 Responses to “Blank.”
  1. Hugs Fallen!!!!!!
    Hugs Hugs Hugs!

  2. Makuluwo says:

    I thought you were gonna say>
    I
    just
    want
    to

    do Papareboy’s mum.

  3. ok who the FUCK ru and what did you do with Fallen?

    *slap* (as per previous post)

  4. st.ville says:

    time for another smoke ??

  5. Angel says:

    Cautious pat on shoulder…

    Too scared to even mention hugs…

    Good luck!

  6. Cadence says:

    Haiyo Child. 🙂

  7. chathuraw says:

    WTF????????? :O

  8. Jevon says:

    kinda know the feeling man nothing is going wrong but you end up feeling very alone an empty no matter what seems to be going on around you >_<

    anyway man all things eventually pass is time so shall this, need another gig like the Tripp na ? 😉

  9. Hey good stuff…keep up the good work! I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,)

    A definite great read…:)

    -Bill-Bartmann

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