… is the only word I can think of to describe my loss.
I finally got my pc back, after about a month without it, had to replace a whole load of shit, but it’s back. Sadly there was something I couldn’t replace, something that inhabited my hard drive. I lost over 18,000 songs. All carefully organized, tagged, with album art and everything, even folders for artists with subfolders for albums and all that jazz, all gone. Sigh…
I spent about 6 months getting it to that amount. It was originally somewhere around 5000, then I started downloading discographies and it went up to 8000, then I went into a phase of listening to 3 albums a day. I’d download em and listen to em as soon as they’re done. One after the other, reading the reviews while I’m at it, going through the lyrics etc. On weekends I’d spend most of the day just listening to albums of music I’d never heard before, one Sunday I listened to 12 albums back to back. My dad bursts in asking me what the hell I’m doing and I go “listening to music”, to which he promptly replies “FOR 12 HOURS!?”
It wasn’t just rock and metal btw, my taste in music is broader than that, though those genres provide the base. Lately I’ve been getting into electronica and chiptune music and such, and I’m always looking for something new and exciting, or just something that arouses my interest. To me good music is the kind in which you can feel the energy, negative or positive, you feel it. It doesn’t matter what it sounds like, it could be the catchiest beat ever with the best vocals, but I wouldn’t give a fuck unless I could feel it. So yeah, I’m hoping to find more music like that.
If there’s anything I’m passionate about it’s probably music, not even playing the guitar or writing, but listening to music. I always consider myself a listener rather than a speaker, which is the opposite when it comes to reading and writing – I’m a writer, not a reader. It’s something I can talk about at length, going on and on about what it means to me, to listen to a good album, to find a song to which I can relate, or to decipher the hidden meanings in certain songs and their lyrics. There’s so much to it, so many levels on which you can experience it, and it’s hard to share all of that.
This post is rather pointless really, but I just felt like it deserved to be written about. Right now I’ve only 8 albums on my pc, I’m downloading one by one, taking it slow, revisiting old faves and such. I still have the busted hard drive, I think I might frame it with an epitaph and put it on my wall. I’ll most likely go with “You Can’t Kill The Metal! \m/” or something. Will post a pic when I get down to it, and yes, I’m being serious.