To My Mother

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember how I used to wish you?
I’d give you a kiss and a birthday card
Not from me but from all of us
Dad would buy it, and we’d just sign
But that doesn’t happen anymore
I’m the only child left in this house
And I never was too enthusiastic about making cards.

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember that card I made you for Mother’s day?
I didn’t have time so I drew it on a desk calendar
With a thick coat of chalk and then scraped out a picture
Of the two of us, I think we were holding hands
And I said thank you for being the best mother ever.

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember kicking me to the ground?
You would stomp on me as I hit the floor
Kicking me around for what I wouldn’t know
I was a mischievous kid, I have to admit,
But do you still feel it was right, to do what you did?

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember choking my little brother?
I do, as bright as day, running across the house
Screaming for help till my big brother came out
You were using a hanger around his neck
If it wasn’t for big brother, he’d be dead.

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember our one last fight?
I was watching TV, you told me to study
You turned off the TV, I turned it back on
Then you shouted at me and came to hit me
I kicked you away, you crashed onto a chair
Then you came at me with the chair’s arm that broke off
I kicked you away, and shouted “back off”
Then you realized I’d grown and you could no longer hurt me
But then you eyed my guitar, and said “just watch me”
You took it outside, I remember it was raining
I couldn’t bear to look, but I couldn’t help but hear it
Three loud crashes, wood against concrete
You came back inside, looked at me and left
I didn’t go outside until Dad came back
I hid away the guitar, or the pieces that were left of it
He saw the broken chair and asked what had happened
I told him that I fell, I covered for you, he bought it.

It’s your birthday today, I haven’t forgotten,
Do you remember all you put me through?
The secrets you shared with all our relatives
When I would confide my every thought with you
I remember a dream of you I had as a child
We were standing on a roof, it was late at night
We were far apart, and you weren’t even facing me
Then you took a fall, and I wasn’t even chasing you
They say that means something, those who read into dreams
They say I didn’t need you, and I wanted to be freed
From the hell that you put me through, the fire that you fed
It still burns somewhere within me, a deep burning red
Hate is what I feel for you, I would like it to be love,
But dear mother it’s not my fault but yours,
No, I haven’t forgotten at all.

Advertisements
Comments
17 Responses to “To My Mother”
  1. Jerry says:

    What. The. Fuck.

  2. Cadence says:

    oh…

  3. chathuraw says:

    Very dark and twisty :-/

  4. lady divine says:

    wow….that’s very deep….

    and some of the lines… I can read into….

  5. Dulan says:

    Like Jerry said.

  6. sabbyaz says:

    Sigh :S
    Hmmm

  7. chamira says:

    Well there’s only one respone to this:

    This Be The Verse (Philip Larkin)
    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

  8. Angel says:

    This is not deep. It’s an abyss of the frikkin’ disturbing… :S

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: