They say 1/3 of your life is spent asleep, while 1/3 is spent working, and 1/6 is spent waiting, and the rest of it? I’d say spent alone, in my case at least. How do I find it so easy to find myself alone, even if I’m in a crowd, it doesn’t take long for me to somehow find myself removed. I can safely say I spend 10 hours alone every day I’m at home, is that healthy? I don’t know, but then what’s going to change that.

I’m not a social butterfly, never have been, never will. I’m never going to be the one to schedule meetups and constantly be out and about hanging with friends. I usually never leave the house unless there’s actually something to be done, or if I can’t do the same thing from home. So far I haven’t seen anything wrong with that, but when I think about the fact that a huge portion of my life is (probably) being wasted, it kind of sucks.

But what do I know, maybe this is just how I function. Maybe spending too much time with people would only lead to me wasting time, maybe. I don’t know. Even my sleep pattern is fucked up, I sleep at 12 and wake up at 4, and then nod off again at 6. These moments are when I feel the most alone, but it’s a feeling I’ve learnt to deal with and make the best of. But somehow I can’t do that so much anymore, perhaps because I find myself in need now.

Sometimes all it takes to make a day worthwhile is to hear someone say something, to connect with someone, or just to share something. Sometimes all it takes is a voice, sometimes even breathing, just to know someone’s there. Is it technology that makes us so starved for communication, or does it simply feed our hunger? I think it works both ways, though I suppose it’s arguable. Blah, what am I rambling about anyway.

I’m a loner. Boo fucking hoo.

8 Responses to “Waste”
  1. There’s a difference between being alone ane being lonely.
    Be glad you aren’t the latter.

  2. Seesaw says:

    Think how much more content we’d all be if we had nothing to compare our lives against? If your lifestyle is not getting you into trouble, and is not harming you, then be glad. Besides loners have something going for them…that mysterious get-to-know-the-real-me allure 😉

  3. greene says:

    thats what a pc does man. as is the tv. it replaces your life with a void and fucks with your mind. bloody freemasons and their ego trips

  4. Chavie says:

    What Sash said. 🙂

  5. Me-shak says:

    Yes, I agree with sash 🙂


  6. ggpurple says:

    some times we try to ‘think’ we crave for something so much
    in the end, we have no idea what the hell that is.
    or sometimes it just could be a devil’s whisper. aka your inner voice

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