Cooking With Ganja: Pork In Curd (Guest Recipe)

This time around we’ve got a very special guest submission from the one and only David Blacker.
So let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

Ingredients:

300g pork fillet
250-300ml buffalo curd
1 small cauliflower head
5-6 stalks of spring onion
1 large paprika (bell pepper) — if you want some colour, use a red or yellow one

Marination:

2tsp olive oil
2tbsp soya sauce
2tsp garlic paste (or finely chopped garlic)
2tbsp roasted curry powder
1tsp black pepper
3tbsp sweet mustard paste
3tbsp satay sauce
3tbsp sweet & sauce sauce
2-3tsp kitul honey or brown sugar
2-3tsp finely ground marijuana

Chop the pork into thin medallions (about the size of a 2-rupee coin) and mix well with the marination ingredients (use your hands). The marination stuff will be like a thick sauce when mixed well, so make sure the meat is well covered with it. If you like, you can also chop up one or two of the spring onions, and add it to the marination. Cover the meat and stick it in the fridge for about 4-5 hours. If you’re planning this for lunch, get the marination going at breakfast.

Method:

Chop the cauliflower into bite-sized pieces and steam (or boil if you must).

While this is going on, pour olive oil into a large frying pan or wok and heat on a medium flame. Chop paprika into thin slivers and stir fry until it’s starting to get brown.

Pick the medallions of pork out of the marination stuff and add to the paprika. Turn the flame up high and keep stirring for a couple of minutes until the pork is starting to brown, then turn flame back to low.

Add the rest of the spring onions, finely chopped.

Go off and have a cigarette (this should take about 7 minutes).

Add the remaining marination mix and turn up the flame for a bit, stirring well. This part is a little tricky, ‘cos if the pan gets too hot, the marination mix might stick, and if it’s too low, it won’t blend all the flavours.

Once the cauliflower is almost fully steamed, add it to everything else. Stir for a bit.

Add the curd now, a tablespoon at a time, stirring well on a high flame until it’s well mixed in.

Turn the flame down low and go off and have another fag. If you’re feeling stressed, pour yourself a drink too. Do not smoke any weed.

By now, the whole thing will be bubbling well, and you can have a taste. If it’s too sweet, add some soya sauce, but this is better slightly sweet and peppery rather than too salty. Once you’re sure that the pork is just right, you can serve it with spaghetti or penne (preferably the former, but upto you).

If there’s any leftover and you’re reheating it later, add a bit more curd and satay sauce to it at the time, ‘cos it tends to get more salty as it ages.

Note: This won’t make you high, but the ganja makes the pork really tender and tasty. You could probably do this with chicken too, but I’ve never tried it, and if you are I’d advise you to go easier on the sweeter ingredients like the honey, mustard, sweet & sour sauce and satay sauce.

Many thanks to Mr. Blacker for making the submission, I myself shall be trying this one out soon. Also, just to add to it in the interest of getting stoned, perhaps an increase in the amount of weed will help towards getting you stoned, though I can’t guarantee that. You could always make yourself some weed butter and eat it with your meal, at least that’s what I’d do. Cheers!

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